Articles by Child Psychologist Daniel Wendt

Children Don't Come with a Manual

7/10/2018

Having a child can be the most positive experience in an individual's life. The moment you first see your newborn's face cannot possibly be put into words. The birth of your child is marked by euphoria, mindfulness and an immense sense of responsibility.

As the days and months pass by parents quickly realise that unfortunately children and teenagers do not come with a manual. Parenting is not always straight forward or clear and sometimes the rules change. This can make parenting for the first time a daunting and scary experience. There are so many unknowns and questions when raising children:

"When should we start toilet training?"
"How can I promote my child's self-esteem?"
"Should my children sleep in their own bed?"
"What are the best ways to handle misbehaviour?"
"How much iPad time it too much?"
"Why does my teenage child want to spend less time with us now? Are we doing something wrong?"
"My child doesn't look me in the eyes, should I be worried?"

This is just a brief example of some of the questions racing though most parent's minds. There is an infinite amount of other concerns which parents are faced with day to day. Many parents have the same concerns about their children and it can be difficult to know what a regular part of a child's development is, as opposed to something you should be concerned about.

For instance, many children can go through periods of being scared to sleep at night or separating from their parents. To some extent this can be an expected part of child development. However, in other instances where a child is excessively anxious or afraid for extended periods, or following trauma, it can be essential that families seek professional help.

True also is the complexity of understanding the teenage years. Parents can be overwhelmed with the dramatic physical and emotional changes in their adolescent child over a relatively short amount of time. Teenagers can become moody, withdrawn and they can isolate themselves from family. In some circumstances this can be an expected part of development. It may be the natural path your child is taking as they transition from a a dependent child to an independent young adult. However, such social and emotional changes in extremes can also be a hallmark feature of mental health decline, such as depression and anxiety.

Since there is no parenting manual to assist in raising your child, professional help and guidance can be beneficial to some families. Child and Adolescent Psychologists can provide an objective perspective and professional advice. While Psychologists often work with individuals, in the paediatric and adolescent arena it can be important to involve other family members such as parents and even siblings. Of course, this would depend on the individual circumstances of the client and it would need to be clinically appropriate as well as with consent.

For instance, children with emotional regulation difficulties and anger outburst can benefit greatly from individual psychological support from qualified clinicians. However, the younger the child the more likely that a parent will be involved more actively in the sessions with a Psychologist. This allows parents to learn the strategies taught to the child also and assist their children to implement them day to day. Parent involvement also allows for Mum and Dad to draw on the extensive knowledge of Child Psychologists to broaden their own knowledge.

Parent involvement in adolescent sessions would depend on the teenager providing consent. In many instances clinicians can encourage teenage clients to involve their parents or consent to Psychologists providing feedback to Mum and Dad. In several ways this can promote positive outcomes for the individual, as it allows parents to gain a greater understanding of their child's needs and perspective. It can also further develop communication skills and independence.

It is also important to note that, while children do not come with a manual, parents can use Child and Adolescent Psychologists as an interactive manual for childhood development. They can request individual sessions with clinicians for psychological consultation and advice about parenting even if their child is not seeing a professional. This can be helpful for mothers and fathers as it can guide them in best practice with parenting or how to respond to emotional and social changes. It can also be helpful for parents to seek advice with assisting their children during life changes such as how to best parent after separation.

There are many ways Child Psychologists can help families. Clinicians can work with individuals or groups. The can assist one family member or many. They can give parenting and developmental advice to put things in perspective. While there is no parenting manual we can guide you on your parenting journey.

Contact us today on 02 4929 2223 or email us for further information.

Clinician Schedules for 2019

3/8/2018

Please note that Oracle Psychology will be opening clinician schedules for 2019 on the below dates. We invite clients to call at their convenience to arrange bookings for next year.

We encourage booking ahead for at least 6 months to ensure continuity of service. It is generally easier to book ahead and if your circumstances change we can remove appointments without any cancellation fee, as long as 24 hours notice is provided. Please remember that once appointments have been booked in with one of our Child and Adolescent Psychologists, it may be difficult to reschedule as the appointment time approaches. However, we will do our best to accommodate your needs.

It is always helpful to discuss yours and your family's needs with the clinician and to seek feedback from the Consulting Psychologist assisting you to gain insight into how often it will be helpful for you to attend. The clinician providing treatment is the best person to provide this advice and to explain their treatment plan in more detail. This can be discussed during your appointments with the Psychologist however, all appointments need to be scheduled via reception.

Daniel Wendt - Principal Psychologist
Schedule opens 2 October 2018

Dan McAlpine - Consulting Psychologist
Schedule opens 8 October 2018

Kathryn Russell - Clinical Psychologist
Schedule opens 15 October 2018

Marissa Black - Consulting Psychologist
Schedule opens 22 October 2018

Please call our office on 02 4929 2223 to make arrangements for 2019 at you convenience. For more information regarding our full range of services please click here. Also free to read some of our informative articles while you are visiting our webpage.

Pet Ownership And The Benefits For Children

18/7/2018

For your child, the benefits of having a pet cat are far-reaching. It’s a big responsibility though, so teaching children safe techniques for bonding with their pets is paramount. In an article by Advantage Petcare on ‘Introducing Cats To Children', our experts at Oracle Psychology contributed practical advice for parents to encourage and enhance successful bonds. As director of Oracle Psychology, Mr Daniel Wendt offers a unique combination of qualifications in both education and psychology, to assist children and young people.

Perhaps one of the greatest positives that pet ownership can have for children in terms of wellbeing, is to teach children valuable lessons in empathy, compassion, friendship, and maturity. We advise that one of the best ways to create a strong bond between your child and their cat is to have them take part in the care of their pet.

Allowing children to look after the cat by feeding it, grooming it and showing it love, gives them a sense of ownership and encourages them to make strong connections. Talk to your child about the cat’s feelings along the way, so they understand the impact they have on their pet’s life. In doing so, having a pet cat benefits the mental health and development of your child.

Another important lesson is letting your child be involved in looking after their pets. This can help promote self-esteem, increase play skills and grow social connections. In some instances, pets have been shown to assist children with developmental conditions, such as Autism Spectrum Disorder, to become more interactive within the family.

It’s important to consider your family’s individual circumstances before committing your time, love and attention to caring for a cat. However, if you do, there are huge benefits that can result from the special bonds formed between children and their pets.

Author

Mr Daniel Wendt, specialises in the psychology of children, teenagers and young adults in the Newcastle, Hunter and Central Coast regions of NSW. The team at Oracle Psychology are expert Child and Adolescent Psychologists who are registered with the Psychology Board of Australia.

Helping Teens Learn to Drive

20/11/2017

The most important thing parents can teach teens when learning how to drive is how they can stay safe on the road. As featured in an article ‘Driving Lessons and Road Safety Tips for Teen Driving’ for NSW Compensation Lawyers on driving safety tips for teens, our expert psychologists at Oracle Psychology know how to work with teens, to help ensure safe practices develop.

As Principal Psychologist and Director of Oracle Psychology, Mr Daniel Wendt, along with our team of qualified child and adolescent psychologists, offers expertise to assist with children and young people. We work closely with families in the Newcastle, Hunter and Central Coast regions of New South Wales to ensure wellbeing and successful outcomes.

Mr Wendt advises that teaching teens how to drive can be a daunting experience, not just for teens but for parents as well. However, this step towards independence marks a rite of passage, whereby parents should encourage and share in their child’s excitement while promoting road safety.

Leading by example is at the top of these safety tips, as education by experience is a strong method for learning new skills and responsibilities. When you demonstrate road safety every day, you show your child the importance of being calm, in control and alert while driving.

It’s suggested that you take the time to praise successes throughout the learning process, with emphasis on your teen's ability to accept responsibility. You can enhance this by pointing out things that you look for when driving and encouraging discussions around this.

Young drivers should imagine they’re in someone else’s shoes when driving and picture everyone on the road as a loved one. No one wants their mother, father, brother or sister to be in danger on the roads, therefore driving in this way increases an overall sense of responsibility and alertness.

Finally, one of the most important tips is to always plan ahead, especially as teens generally reach drinking age at the same time as receiving a license. Though it’s perfectly normal to have fun with friends, it’s vital to ensure teens are prepared to leave the car at home, if the activity involves drinking.

When you lead by example and offer positive encouragement, your teen will start their driving career fully equipped with the knowledge necessary to stay safe on the roads.

Helping Individuals Who Self-Harm

15/8/2017

PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME READERS MAY FIND THIS CONTENT UPSETTING AND CONFRONTING

Self-harm
Self-harm is a behaviour that can cause a lot of stress and worry, both for the person exhibiting the self-harm, as well as the people who care about them. It can be confronting and upsetting for a parent to see cuts or scratches that their child has inflicted on themselves. Psychologists can often see individuals with self-harm behaviour. This may range from superficial scratches on an arm or leg, to more serious cutting, burning or self-poisoning.

What is Self-harm?
Self-harm is a phrase used by clinicians who work with adolescents and others. The phrase deliberate self-harm has been used to describe self-injury which may or may not include a suicidal intent. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (2013) defines self-harm as “nonsuicidal self-injury”. Although this definition is based on the idea of no suicidal intent, this does not exclude the fact that at times the individual can have suicidal thoughts, or even attempt suicide.

Anecdotal reports suggest that self-harm has increased significantly over the past few years, and the number of hospitalisations for self-harm has notably risen in Australia during the past decade. However, some self-harm behaviour does not require medical intervention, and not everyone who self-harms will go to hospital for treatment. One study found that only around 10% of self-harming adolescents they surveyed had attended hospital for treatment.

Who self-harms?
One Australian study found that nearly three times more females than males aged 15-24 years were hospitalised due to self-harm. Although rates of self-harm tend to be higher in adolescents in comparison to adults, both males and females, and people of all ages, can self-harm.

What does it look like?
The main form of self-harm appears to be cutting of the skin, with reports that 70% of individuals use this technique, with others citing self-poisoning (such as overdosing on medication). Self-harm can also be scratching the skin, hitting a part of the body on a hard surface or punching themselves. Females tend to use cutting and scratching as their main form of self-harm, with males more liable to hit or punch something.

Why do people self-harm?
Self-harm has been called “attention seeking” behaviour, however this is rarely the case. Individuals who self-harm cite various reasons as to why they do it, including escaping a negative mood, managing stress or self-punishment. For adolescents, it is thought that the main function of self-harm is to help them to manage their emotions. Unfortunately, some individuals choose to self-harm as a coping strategy, however any self-harm constitutes a safety risk to an adolescent’s physical and mental health and so needs to be taken seriously.

What can I do?

Be patient and remain calm. Attend to any injury. The person may require first aid. If you are worried, take them to hospital.
Take it seriously. Rarely is self-harm about getting attention.
Be open about talking about it. This helps to build trust in your relationship. Acknowledge the small things as change may take some time.
Validate and encourage – let the person know that you hear them, that this is painful and takes courage to talk about this.
Take care of yourself. It can be tiring and difficult to provide support to someone who self-harms. You won’t be able to help them if you don’t take care of yourself first.
Seek help from a professional, such as a psychologist. This allows the person to gain other, more helpful strategies to manage their emotions.
Encourage the use of the Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800) and Lifeline (13 11 14) as a free 24 hours service on landlines to access support.

We are more than happy to be contacted for further information or to schedule appointments on 02 4929 2223.

Written by:

Ms Kathryn Russell, MAPS
MClinPsych, BSocSc (Hon)
Clinical Psychologist
PSY0001373480

How Child Psychologists Help

10/4/2017

Unfortunately parenting does not come with a manual and your child's development can be a confusing journey. This is where guidance from an experienced professional can help. Child Psychologists play an important role in helping children, parents and families as a whole to understand each other better. As well as identifying and treating a wide range of childhood conditions, Child Psychologists can explain behaviours and emotions to parents so they know how to best help their child achieve their potential.

Child Psychologists are qualified professionals with postgraduate qualifications in human behaviour. They use their highly developed skills, knowledge and expertise to develop a deep understanding of a child's needs, feelings and motivations. These professionals can help children develop social skills, teach them to regulate their emotions, encourage healthy self-esteem and increase their insight. Parents can also benefit by learning skills to respond appropriately to a child's behaviours and feelings with the aim to promote development and reduce unnecessary stress.

Children are often referred from a variety of sources and for a diversity of reasons. For instance, a child's teacher may suggest to a parent that contacting a Child Psychologist may be a good idea if they believe a child is struggling to reach their potential. Many parents also self-refer to gain insight into their child's needs and to seek guidance about their child's development. Some concerns may be age appropriate and could respond quite quickly to treatment. However in some instances children may benefit from more comprehensive assessment and diagnosis to better clarify and communicate their needs. This can help address any developmental delays or mental health conditions, as well as facilitating access to appropriate supports.

Overall, it's important to remember that Child Psychologists are there to help and ultimately want to assist children to reach their potential. Their goal is for families to interact and communicate better, while helping children to lead happy and successful lives. Our Child Psychologists in Newcastle help many children and families on a daily basis. Contact us now for more details on how we can help you and your family.

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Bedtime Anxiety: Getting your child to sleep at night

11/2/2017

Many parents find bedtime one of the most difficult parts of the day. Children often want to stay up “just a little longer” and this tugs at the heartstrings of their mums and dads. Even more complicated are times when children express anxiety at night and seem scared to go to sleep alone. It can be easy to fall into a habit of laying with your child until they fall asleep or to allow them to sleep in your bed. While short-term this may seem like a quick fix, in the longer-term it can affect spousal relationships, family routines and the child’s confidence. It can also implicitly send the message that they are not safe without you with them.

While children may go through short developmental phases of being scared to sleep alone at night, when these difficulties persist or become excessively frequent and distressing it may be time to intervene. The age of the child also comes into play when considering how much of a concern the anxiety has become. Ultimately, it is important for children to feel comfortable sleeping in their bed by themselves. After all, their own bed in their own home is really the safest place in the world. If a child doesn’t feel safe in their own bed it can be difficult for them to feel confident elsewhere.

If you have decided to help your child overcome their night-time fears, one of the most important things to assist them to sleep soundly alone in their own bed is to send the message that it is safe. It is really important that you encourage your child to confront their fears with some initial gentle reassurance.

Try not to be overly reassuring as this can come across as anxiety provoking. That is, it may seem to your child that you are trying too hard to encourage them, so it must be really difficult to do. Be mindful of your body language, tone of voice and the words you use. Project calm and remain poised when you communicate with your ‘little one’ and they will share in your confidence.

Using a reward system can be helpful to encourage them to challenge themselves. For example, a jar with shiny stones (purchased from a discount store) which you give your child for being brave. They can start earning them for staying in their bed all night by themselves or by doing other things they are not confident with. Remember, the bad thing about anxiety is that it can spread. However, the wonderful thing about confidence is that it will certainly spread.

Reassure your child initially by explaining “Mum and Dad would never ask you to do something that’s dangerous. We know our house is safe and so is your room. It’s important that you show yourself how brave you can be by sleeping in your bed all night. When you do this you’ll get a ‘brave stone’ to put in the jar. Once the jar is full you will get a special reward”. Try and find something that will really motivate your child to overcome the fear based on their interests (e.g. going to the movies, trampoline park, laser tag, etc.).

When night-time comes it is important to continue to project calm and confidence. This can be extremely difficult if your child is distressed. However, remember that they will draw on your approach to the situation and in time will adopt the same level of composure, by learning from watching you regulate your own emotions. Try and establish a soothing and consistent bedtime routine (e.g. have a bath, read a story in bed and then sleep time) and give them directions with certainty. For example, “It’s sleep time now. I love you and I’ll see you in the morning” then leave the room peacefully as if all is going to plan.

It’s up to you if you let your child come in to your room if they wake up in the middle of the night or keep coming out of their room. This is okay, however, it is extremely important that they then be calmly redirected back to their bed and that you are persistent with this. At that point ask your child “What did Mum and Dad say about overcoming you fears?”. It’s important that you assist your child to come up with the answers through prompting rather than giving them the responses. You need them to internalise their own self-talk that “Mum and Dad know my room is safe and there’s nothing to be afraid of. The noises outside are just normal night noises like birds, cats and cars going by”.

As difficult as it may be (and as much sleep as you may lose) you need to make sure that your child sleeps back in their own bed after they wake up. This may cost you sleep to begin with but it will save you a lot in the long run. These strategies will be helpful in assisting you to address your child’s night-time anxiety. However, some children and families may require professional support due to more extreme or persistent difficulties.

If you would like to seek advice or support in regards to your child’s anxiety please contact us today on 02 4929 2223. Our experienced and qualified Newcastle based Child Psychologists can assist.

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